I read only one of Ayn Rand’s Books, Atlas Shrugged. I will always remember one quote from that book that made an impact on me……”If you question your results then check your assumptions.” This has influenced me particularly as I continue to pursue my insidious journey for Truth. I see assumptions as foundational structures of perspective. Perspective is attained through a lens of beliefs, conclusions, opinions, habits of thought, attitude, etc. These can all be and are assumptions. A perspective can be and ultimately is a result. My problem has always been a gap of consciousness between results and assumptions. In other words I really have never held a firm and convicted perspective and have seldom been integral, committed and had faith in my assumptions. This is probably due to my ultimate goal of avoiding responsibility and accountability for my outcomes. What a shame. Nevertheless, the universe continues to slowly and tenderly torture me by, ever so softly, putting in front of my niave and gullable mind the thoughts, insights and wisdom of the sages and prophets. Kabbalah talks of “Bread of Shame” as one of the causes of the birth of creation. Our souls wanted to “earn” their fullfillment. Our souls wanted it to be set up so that we were the cause of our own fullfillment.
In the beggining, before the moment of creation it was not set up this way. Rather, any desire our souls had was fullfilled immediately and completely. Bread of Shame is the feeling of guilt and emptiness one feels when one discovers that fullfillment was not earned or deserved. In order for this to occur….God, who is the primal source of all fullfillment, needed to withdraw himself from the picture, if only for a moment. This resulted in the Big Bang and our present reality. Krishmamurti said that …”The paradox of the paradox is the paradox.” The interplay between desire and fullfillment is a 3 person play. Enter stage left…….Desire, the first paradox. Where do these desires come from? Why are some stronger than others? Why do they so often conflict with each other? Enter Stage Right…..Fullfillment, the second paradox. What is fullfillment? Is it happiness? Is it success? Is it Love? Am I the cause of it or not? Enter Center Stage, The third paradox. An Assumption to be sure. It is koan while at the same time an action. It can be understood in comtemplation of a deep Kabbalistic insight….”Fullfillment is the seed of Desire.” In other words, Fullfillment came first. In fact, fullfillment created desire. The third paradox is the filament of the light bulb connecting the negative pole of the power source (DESIRE) with the positive pole of the power source (FULLFILLMENT). It is often characterized as resistance or restriction.
So The paradox of Desire is that Fullfillment is attained through Resistance to The Fullfillment of the Desire itself. Atleast that is the way it is down here. Spritual and religious pursuits begin to lead us to a deeper understanding of the Truth. Although, that is the way it is here….Fullfillment wants to fill the void of all desires immediately and completely. That is what it’s nature is. And Desire is designed to be fullfilled immediately and completely. Perhaps the process that is in place here is really a process of elimination. Elimination of Bread of Shame. And, although the way to “do it” seems to be through the act of resistance or restriction……..Perhaps, All we really have to do is check our assumptions.