Diabetes

Anxiety

2 Comments

I am a member of an on-line community for people dealing with diabetes. A mother of a child asked the community how we deal with anxiety. This was my response:

The anxiety can be, at times, overwhelming.  You asked for what to do with it so I am going to share with you what I have done, both good and bad, throughout this experience of injecting insulin for the past 45 years.

Read more: Anxiety

1.  Do Nothing: Let it Fester….not a good tack for me.  The feeling of anxiety is letting me know to move some how.

2.  Engage in vigorous physical workouts.  It is my experience that this is one of THE BEST ways to dissolve the anxiety.  The problem here is that it takes a tremendous amount of commitment and discipline.  There was a six year period in my life when I really did it.  I lost a few pounds.  I was strong.  I felt great.  I ran 3 miles a day.  Lifted weights a few days a week and did Hot Yoga everyday.  

3.  Alcohol and Drugs.  These things work great in the short term but don’t resolve the problem in the end.  Kind of just hides the symptoms while the cause continues to grow.

4.  Psychological Therapy.  Nope.  This includes anti-depressants, as far as a long term solution.  I have an interesting perspective on psychology and therapy.  I went to graduate school and studied this subject.  I can talk more on this subject privately but no more here because it will trigger too many people, especially the psychologists and especially the behavioral psychologists.  With this said, I think support groups are good.

5.  Alternative Health Approaches.  Acupuncture is very effective for me.  Cranial Sacral Therapy has been profound.  Some Chinese Herbs work wonders.  Rescue Remedy taken orally reduces anxiety in the short term.

6.  Yoga.  I know people think this is a form of exercise and it is, partly but it is much more.  I am actually a certified yoga teacher and have been teaching small groups both in person and on-line for over 10 years.  Yoga has been a bedrock in my approach to survival and staying healthy.  

7.  Meditation.  This, for me, is the core work of all that I do.  Advanced yogis know that we do the yoga postures and flows so we can sit in meditation more comfortably and for longer periods of time.  The purpose of meditation is not to relieve stress or to calm the mind.  The purpose of meditation is to increase wisdom.  I attended a 10 Vipassana Meditation Workshop where I reduced my basal rate by 50% during the work…..When the retreat ended it went right back up.  I thought I was on the road to The Cure.

Anxiety can be described, at least partly, as a feeling that is a result of wanting things to be different than the way they are.  Diving deeper,,,, it is more accurately, wanting things to be different than the way we perceive them to be.  Hopelessness and Helplessness arise when anxiety is not addressed productively leading to depression and deep feelings of loss and grief.  

The solution is not to change the way things are.  The solution is to change our perspective, or at least, be willing to explore and inquire into the validity and usefulness of our current perspective.  This is the only Free Will we have; the way we see things.

The “turning point” for me was when I changed my perspective from poor me, why me, victim to 100% response-ability; A Matrix Warrior.   From a spiritual perspective this means accepting and knowing that I chose to be right here right  now.  And Now.  And Now….And Here.  And Now…

The Reality (Not my opinion but proved by the science of quantum physics) is that everything in our world is impermanent.  Everything that arises is bound to pass away.  As the Buddha said,” Everything is ablaze. ”  Meditation is about having a direct personal experience of The Nature of Impermanence (Annica in Sanskrit).  When we do this on a consistent basis we are able to heal the ruts of reactivity (Sankhara) that block THE LIGHT of Fulfillment.

This T1D is a bitch.  I have always known it is harder on the parent, the loving sibling than the diabetic……sometimes.  It takes courage to confront such a difficult task.  The grief is from loss.  When our soul journeyed from hOMe we all experienced this loss.  THE GOOD NEWS is we are on a journey back hOMe.

Diabetes, Metaphysical/Spiritual

The Essence of The Problem….T1D

1 Comment

If there be a blessing of having to deal with this condition for the past 45 years it is that it guided me onto the spiritual path in search of answers, truth and a cure.

So, what is the problem?  In my quest for understanding, revelation and liberation I have come to believe that everything is spiritual at the “seed level.”  And, furthermore, the physical material world is not only a very small percentage of all that is………. it is also the last manifestation; it is a result.  

I think everyone who comes in contact with this dis-ease whether that be child, adult, parent, sibling, friend, doctor, CDE’s, Nurses,  …… whoever…….is dealing with a condition that is one of The Adversary’s most favorite due to its’ insidious nature and because it blocks THE LIGHT so efficiently. 

Before the invention of insulin some 100 years ago the prognosis was death within a matter of days or weeks.  The method of death, a starvation process.  I don’t mean to be morbid but to find solutions to the problem one must inquire into the truth and essence of the problem.  

Without insulin the cells in the body cannot receive the glucose necessary to sustain life.  As most of you know, insulin is a hormone whose purpose is to act as a “key” to unlock the cell door so that the glucose molecule may enter.  Without the presence of insulin the door is closed and the glucose accumulates in the blood which leads to chaos throughout the whole system.  

So, what is the problem?  This is where it gets kinda cool, in my opinion.  Type 1 diabetes can be seen as a metaphor for the experience that the soul endures when it separates from Source.  The primary ‘spiritual’ issue with respect to diabetes is one of abandonment and a longing for hOMe.  

No matter how much technology comes out to manage this condition I know that I am here to awaken to the spiritual lessons it provides.  A matter-a-fact, I am starting to become more and more apprehensive and suspicious of the current and future technology.  We are getting a little too close to trans-humanism for my taste. I want to know the true reason for human being in Universe before we move on.  

I am certain we are close to a solution to the problem.  In the meantime, it is important to engage as a warrior in the milieu of duality, division and delusion.  

“Everything is dual, everything has poles, everything has its pair of opposites, like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet;  all truths are but half-truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled.” –The Kybalion

Metaphysical/Spiritual

The “Game;” A Perspective

Leave a comment

I am sharing two videos for you to study, if you so choose. REMEMBER, nothing I share is for belief or acceptance or liking. Neither is it for unbelief, disagreement or disliking. Yoga is inquiry into the Self with compassion. Know thyself.

Also……….Just like in yoga, there are three stages of learning and wisdom. The first two we can do together. The third is on you.

The first one is about the object of the game.

The second video is about the “landscape” of history from an interesting spiritual perspective.

Metaphysical/Spiritual

The Mer-Ka-Ba Lesson Three

Leave a comment

Please read and review Lessons One and Two before this post.

I have been checking out a few shorter, more concise meditations. This first one is 12 minutes and I found it useful in “settling into” the process.

This second one is a the 18 breaths meditation. I suggest practicing with the video in the previous post to acclimate yourself to the process. It is 10 minutes in length.

So, check these out and let me know. Keep researching The Mer-Ka-Ba.

Metaphysical/Spiritual

The Mer-Ka-Ba Lesson Two

Leave a comment

Ok……I found it! I found a very effective video which introduces The Mer-Ka-Ba and which is an excellent training video for The Mer-Ka-Ba Activation Meditation.

I suggest on your first viewing that you establish a drishti (a soft gaze) as you watch. Allow your eyes to close every once in awhile. When he takes you through the 17 breaths he may spend a lot of time on one breath. I believe it is designed this way as to be more of an initial training endevour rather than a guided meditation per se. Although, it is certainly both.

I am committing to watching this video every day for the next 3 days after which I will find and share a more condensed version to practice for the next 18 days adding up to 21. This takes me right up Thanksgiving day

As some of you know….it was Thanksgiving day 1976 when I was discharged from the hospital after spending a week going through a process of bringing my blood glucose level down from a critically dangerous level.

I got my first “shot” of insulin. I remember to this day the first time I gave myself an injection. I was sitting with the nurse and threw my hospital robe to the side exposing my left thigh. I filled the syringe and stuck it in. I clumsily put my thumb on the plunger and squeezed. It burned going in. It stung for a minute or two. I felt desperate and afraid.

I was discharged in the afternoon around 4pm. It was dark and rainy and cold. A typical late November day in Rochester, NY. All the leaves were gone. My eyesight was blurry because of the high blood sugars and the traffic lights were merging together. We (I think it was my father and I) arrived at my Aunt Karen’s house….not far from the hospital and before us was all the food laid out for our annual Thanksgiving feast.

I was put on a strict diet at the hospital. I could have some turkey and maybe one warm biscuit and some green beans. No more sweet potatoes or apple pie or cherry pie or whipped cream for me……..or so I thought then.

Why do I tell you this?

It is because my biggest desire is to be done with this dis-ease. While diabetes has been a curse it has also been a blessing in that it motivated me to awaken to the spiritual path and to stay on it. I know that my experience with my physical condition has a spiritual seed. I also know that because of this I can cure it. And I know this because I have learned from The Kabbalists that…..”Fulfillment is the Seed of Desire.” In that quote is a secret and with this secret I move forward.

Ok. So I know everyone is dealing with a lot right now. We are all “in the weeds” at some level. Perhaps, this training is the one needed right now? Perhaps not.

I am looking for ten others who will join me….Michael