All posts by Michael

restriction

It was 1982 and I was a sophomore in college.  I guess I was 20 years of age.  I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at age 14.  I was always a bit nervous speaking in front of the class.  I had a crush on this beautiful girl who was in my class.  We were friends but I was pining for something a bit more.  What’s new?  

We were taking this class on Political Philosophy.  Reading Aristotle, Plato, Thucydides, Hobbs, etc…  Only NPH back then and no “test” strips.  I got called on to read from Plato’s Republic.  I felt a rush of blood running through my heart, lungs and brain.  I was thrust into flight and fight and I was dropping low fast.  I started to read and I sounded like I had marbles in my mouth.  I could not do it.  The professor showed no mercy and had me read an entire page with my speech coming out like my mouth was stitched up.  Suffice it to say I never got to first base with Betty (not her real name to protect the innocent). 

When we are low we are comprised.  And when a major stress event happens we go into flight and fight or maybe, instead, fear or facade?  It happens and it has an effect that reverberates throughout our life.  This is a “problem.”  I know a lot of people don’t like that word “problem” …… Instead, some like to call it a challenge.  Whatever.  I like the word problem.  Sticking with it.  So what is the solution?

I am turning 57 in a few weeks.  I really didn’t think I would get to 42.  So, the way I see it, I am 15 years into bonus time.  One profound awareness I have “received” through my work, study, challenges and, especially, my living with diabetes is that the KEY to life must include in it somewhere the concept of RESTRICTION.  What do I mean?  The Buddha calls it The Middle path.  Some call it The Tao or The Way.  Think about it this way……The way electricity works.  There is a positive pole and there is a negative pole.  In order to create Lasting Light one must add a third element called the Resistor or, in other words, Restriction.  If the negative pole connects directly to the positive pole with no resistor or filament then there is a bright spark of Light followed by a short circuit.  When the filament is added a current is created and presto……LIGHT.

This concept applies to our challenge of living with diabetes and the problem of being low or high or in range or whenever, but, especially when we are low.  Restrict your first impulse to react.  Even but for a moment.  See what happens.   

I believe, this is a deep spiritual insight that we as T1D’s live out all day…everyday and have the opportunity to become masters of, or not.

Namaste.

The Cause

I got diagnosed with Type 1 at the age of 14 in 1976.  Yep, I’m getting old but I still feel like that 14 year old in many ways.  It was different back then.  I was “flying blind.”  No short acting insulin, no test strips, no A1C test…Took one injection of NPH in the morning and rode the peak.  Mostly ate food by feel.  How I survived that…I don’t know.  For me, this “journey” has become spiritual in nature rather than physical.  I really didn’t think I was going to make it past 40 years of age.  I’m turning 57 at the end of the month.  It’s bonus time from here on out.

Yet, I am trapped, or at least I feel trapped. in this physical body that often does not feel well and needs to be poked with injections, infusion sites, finger pricks and all the other stuff involved.  The doctors told me, when I was diagnosed, that they were on to a cure and we should have one in 10 years at the most.  It’s been 42 and a “cure” is just as far out today as it was then.

For me, there is a cause.  There has to be.  If not, this suffering would be for nothing.   My education has taught me that there is a cause to everything.  We may not be able to detect it but it’s there.  There is a book published back in 1984 called “You Can Heal Your Life” written by Louise Hay.  It’s a book that connects dis-eases with mental/emotional/spiritual causes.  I remember, that one of the causes for diabetes was ……… “A Longing For Home.”  This resonated with me.  Prior to my diagnosis I had a few experiences of being desperately homesick when away to a hockey camp or a soccer camp.  I remember, the sick feeling at the “pit” of my stomach.  I was so nauseous I could not eat.  I was so upset I peed my bed.  Why, am I telling you this?  Am I saying that I got diabetes because i got homesick as a kid?  Nope.  I don’t know why I got this curse of a disease.  I’m over it.  

Type 1 diabetes ejects “you” from the home of the physical body.  It disrupts one of the many essential “perpetual motion systems” in the body. The destruction of the islet cells of the pancreas combined with a continued immune system response results in the death of the physical body.  In a matter of weeks or days.  That is not an opinion.  That is a fact. Without injecting insulin “you” are out of here.  Diablo has won.  But, just under 100 years ago a few guys invented a way to get insulin into these people who were dying of ‘Diabetes”.  

The story begins to change.  It is truly a miracle.  And over the years the treatment (way of getting insulin in and the way to test/check blood sugar levels) has improved.  But we are no closer to understanding the cause or finding a cure than we were 100 years ago.  At least on the physical plane. WHY?  What is this diabetes?  Why has it exploded into an epidemic in our society.  What is the cause?

My life, since diagnosis, has been a combination of survival, seeking immediate gratification and finding the cause and cure for this dis-ease that, from one perspective ruined my life and negatively affected those around me. This dis-ease has caused much suffering for me.  There must be a reason. There must be a cause.  I knew that the day I was diagnosed and I know that now.  

I’ve been on this for 42 years.  Some would tell me to let go of this DESIRE Michael and live your life.  You can live a normal life you just need to take your medicine and eat right.  For me, that wasn’t the case.  

Am I any closer to understanding why I got this?  Maybe.  I got my suspicions.  My seeking for the cause and a cure has taken me to some interesting places and teachings.  

Everyone, or almost everyone, has heard the cliche quote about this life……”We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience.  We are spiritual beings having a physical experience.”  Well, if this is TRUE then why this physical experience of Type 1 Diabetes?  

Now that’s a yoga pose ii

Now That is a Yoga Pose!

Understanding diabetes via inquiry of

fundamental yoga principles

Your Guide:

My name is Michael.

I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of 14 in November of 1976.

Started practicing yoga in 1999.

Went to a 200 hour yoga teacher certification course in 2006.

Have attended 150 hours of advanced courses toward what is called the 500 hour certification.

Certified through The Kripalu Yoga Center in Massachusetts.

Over 5000 teaching hours.

Registered as a certified teacher (E-RYT) with the Yoga Alliance.

I have discovered a path of inquiry that can yield positive results for those of us affected by this condition. I believe this path of inquiry to be applicable and valuable to anyone afflicted by the dis-ease itself or anyone who is a parent, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker, coach, teacher or medical professional.

Why would you want me as your guide?

  • I have lived and kept my physical body alive and health while living with Type 1 diabetes (T1D) for 47 years
  • I have never needed glucagon to come back from a low.
  • Never been in DKA from being high.
  • Never had to go to the hospital because of diabetes except when I was diagnosed. I got discharged on Thanksgiving Day. Ha.
  • No complications. Maybe a slight bit of OCD and I may have a slight case of a new Personality Disorder called Adjustment Disorder.
  • I know yoga and I am constantly studying, teaching and practicing it. It is a very comprehensive “map” of the nature of everything.
  • Most of my career has been in the areas of systems and procedures design, quality assurance and hiring and training sales people, customer service reps and managers…
  • I can point out signs and tracks along the path. What I mean by this is that I have discovered specific paths of inquiry that are fundamental to what we need to do to survive and maintain an acceptable level of health and balance.
  • I know what are the black diamond paths and which ones are the bunny runs.
  • I believe we are headed toward a cure and the yogic perspective is what is needed and can speed the process and keep others healthy until we get there.

We learn through metaphor. Everything we understand or could possibly understand is only possible because there is something else to compare it to. The law of duality; the law of polarity; “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

The fact is, in the environment we find ourselves in, anything that arises does so in relation to something else.

Diabetes and Yoga. We are going to hold these two “things” side by side and see how they relate to each other. We are going to “metaphor” diabetes with yoga. When we do this, connections will be created between the two “systems”, “maps,” “challenges” “conditions” “practices”, “disciplines”, “poses.”

Think about how the brain works.

It makes neural connections that create pathways. Pathways that receive knowledge, learn and hone skills and cultivate new and different mind constructs, cognitive maps, mental paradigms.

One of the most important writings in yoga is entitled, “The Yoga Sutras” by Patanjali. Written before 400 B.C. it is a compilation of 196 sutras (aphorisms) on the theory and practice of yoga. The very first sutra reads….

“Now the inquiry of yoga.”

A state of inquiry; being the witness; being the observer is the state we aspire to when practicing yoga.

Can a connection be made with diabetes here? I believe yes. In fact, when dealing with diabetes and everything one must account for in the management of whatever system one is using to try and achieve safe blood sugar levels, I have found that a state of inquiry is, usually, the best.

This path of inquiry is divided into three stages or phases:

Phase 1: Proper Alignment. (here a short on-line assessment and/or a short video that discusses proper alignment principles and how that applies to the foundational alignment in dealing with diabetes. Need something that is really concise and to the point. I have written so much I believe I got it. Got to find a way to offer this free in exchange for them filling out assessment with contact info. Could provide back an assessment summary with budget analysis..) From the perspective of the diabetes side…..it is proper alignment with the goal of achieving safe control.

Phase 2: Finding and Exploring Your “Edge” (I see this as a short on-line interactive teaching. 5 modules dealing with moving into the posture and knowing where to back off and where to push forward. Introduce the concept of flying the plane here. Could be a manual instead. I will write it as a manual first. Again, I got it all written. The newest insight I have is about the basal rate being most important. In Phase 1 basal rate is set. In Phase 2 we begin to explore testing and adjusting basal rate.

Phase 3: Expanding Your Edge and Experiencing Authentic Free Expression. (Here is the intensive retreat concept where we go at it everyday. Requires completion of Phase 2 training. Get sponsors from diabetes supply companies. If someone takes the inquiry to level 3 they can experience pushing beyond the edge. Cut basal rate by 50%. I’ve done this at a sustained level twice; Once when I was working out like a fiend and the second time was when I went to Vipassana 10 day retreat.

Instrument of war

I watched a movie on Youtube the other day called ‘The Instrument of War.” As I watched I was mildly distracted by the usual suspects – getting a snack, incoming texts, surfing for other videos, checking the weather radar, playing a quick on-line poker game (play money), thinking about my to do list and, of course, I had the tv on in the background. The movie was a bit slow for me and then towards the end, with about 20 minutes to go, something caught my attention and I watched with all my attention until the end.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and writing about the duality we are immersed in. Can’t get away from it. Everyone talks about “oneness” or “community” or “unity” but it is always so illusive.

There is a chapter in The Bhagavad Gita (chapter 13) that could be entitled….”WHY FIGHT?” Upon awakening to the duality do we seek ‘peace” through understanding and compassion? Or do we engage as a warrior? Do we FIGHT?

“Arjuna said, O Krishna (God), if You consider understanding superior to action, why have you been urging me to this terrible action?” This apparent contradiction confuses me. Please tell me clearly: Which path will help me toward the highest good.”

The paradox is that becoming an instrument of war, Arjuna becomes an instrument of God. How? The spiritual “work” is different than the work of the ego. Both are necessary but The Soul’s journey is to cut the bonds of ego attachment to allow for an effortless upward movement toward The Divine.

I will write more about this but I link two videos here for further inquiry. The first is about morality and point towards the ties that bind the ego. The second is the movie.

https://www.prageru.com/videos/where-do-good-and-evil-come

Healing

This is an email I wrote to my yoga clients:
If you are getting this email then you are on my “yoga” list or I, have or am working with you on a related subject.  I came across this video and I would like to share it with you.  The link is pasted toward the end. Allow me to create some context.
Yoga, from the Sanskrit root “Yuj” gives us our word “union.”  Returning to wholeness, therefore, is the essential meaning of Yoga.  The heart of Yoga lives in realizing the path by which we unite our finite self with Infinite Being.  The vision of Yoga is an unbroken (unceasing) awareness of our oneness with Spirit.  This new level of consciousness evolves through yogic practices aimed at developing an ever-increasing awareness of the various levels of our experience : physical, energetic, emotional, spiritual, and so forth.
Keeping us from experiencing ourselves as truth, bliss and consciousness are obstructions, both obvious and subtle.  These obstructions create disharmony within us and is considered the root cause of our dis-eases.    In response to this alienation from Self, the practice of Yoga assists us in holding these unconscious patterns of obstruction and disturbance up to the light of our awareness.  This is the healing journey; the path to wholeness.
Swami Kripalu described it this way………
“The purpose of Yoga is the attainment of happiness, peace and bliss.  The meaning of
Yoga is the union of individual consciousness with Shiva consciousness; with
God (Source, Creator).  Yoga is the meeting of the drop and the ocean.
The ultimate result of all Yoga is purity of mind and body.”
Ok, with that said, most of you know that I acquired Type 1 Diabetes at age 14.  This dis-ease has been my “cross to bear.”  My deepest desire is to heal it.  It is a very challenging and uncomfortable obstruction to deal with albeit all the medical advancements.  Prior to the invention of injectable insulin in 1922 a diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes ended quickly (not quickly enough).  Without insulin the body is not capable of metabolizing food.  Without insulin the body starves and is drained of all water.  My awareness that this life was a path of healing hit me square between the eyes in November of 1976.
I teach Yoga in the context of understanding that we are inquiring into how to become whole; how to heal.  This attitude is the foundation of my passion.  Yoga is but one map that I have studied and engaged in.  Some of the other maps are Vipassana Meditation, Kabbalah, Mystical Christianity, Spiral Dynamics, Integral Theory, Cranio – Sacral Therapy, Light Therapy, Bio-feedback, Acupuncture, Chakra balancing and others.  I love having Yoga as the backbone because it is such a dynamic map.
This video is one of the most comprehensive processes I have experienced.  It is 24 minutes. When you have a 1/2 hour find a comfortable place to be. lower the lights, maybe light a candle, wear comfortable clothes. make a cup of tea, put your headphones on, click play and enlarge the screen so you are in full screen mode.  One of my facebook friends posted this and then I checked it out.  The internet and advancements in technology are both mirroring and making possible the evolution in human consciousness that all of us can tap into now.
I teach the yoga classes not so much to teach yoga but rather to find and walk the path of healing.  I think we are about ready to quicken the pace.  Perhaps this video may aid in your path of healing.  It won’t resonate with everyone.  Check it out.
Here is the Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7iLX14ua6k
Namaste,
Michael Mahanger
Coach, Trainer, Meditation Guide & Certified Yoga Teacher
www.choicetimes.com