What is faith? I am watching with concern at the chasm that is widening between those who believe in God and have faith in some kind of ultimate deliverance and those who don’t. With anything like this that has two opposing poles there is a vast middle ground. This ground is made up of those of us who perhaps have a little faith and hope that the an afterlife is possible and those who have decided that they just don’t know and have given up thinking about it. What is Faith? The best defenition I have heard is that it is “The substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” We all have faith. I see faith as a faculty not a decision. When you get in a car you have faith that certain things will work. When you hand your money over to the guy selling you the car you have faith that he will hand you the key. But God and all the stuff associated with God has become a very contentious subject. There are a myriad of reasons for this. But the battle has been going on for most of human history, heated up at the beggining of the Renesaince and is getting really hot now as science makes its big play against religion and God. No one else can give you faith or develop your faith. Only you can do that.
All posts by Michael
Soul Garden
A year ago I went through a month long yoga teacher training program. It was an intense program with about 70 students. Toward the end of the month we were getting to know each other fairly well and the teachers put us through a process that was pretty amazing. I thought of it today and want to share the process and some of the insights.
I have been struggling lately with my mood. It has been going up and down kind a like my blood sugars. As usual, the persistent questions of why and what keep entering my mind. Why are we here? Why do I have to deal with this disease? Why do I feel so bad? What is my purpose? What should I do?
The Soul Garden process went like this. We all partnered up. One partner represented the soul and one was the heart. we all formed a big circle… To begin, the hearts (about 35 of us) went in the middle of the circle and got into a yoga pose or any pose and held it. After a few moments the souls were instructed to go into the middle and find a way to physically support the hearts’ poses. We stayed in this formation for a minute or so. Then, while the souls maintained their pose…the hearts were instructed to move out of the circle and then go back in to support the souls’ poses. We alternated this several times.
What we experienced was what it felt like to be supported, what it felt like to support. what it felt like to be unsupported, what it felt like to stretch to support and many other things. It was very emotional for many people. I was reminded at the time how fortunate I have been to have people around me who have supported me. My father, my mother, my brother, my sisters, friends and others. I was also reminded of how much capacity I have to support.
As a Type 1 diabetic there are certain things I have not been able to do. On a more subtle level, having diabetes has forced a defenition of who I am in a certain way. I know some of you may not understand this. I imagine it would be hard to understand if you have not experienced a major chronic illness. I am unable to be or do some things that I could otherwise be or do. On the flip side, it means I can be or do things that I otherwise could not do.
I am grateful and appreciative of all those who have supported me. I am constantly searching for ways to support you and others so that I can mantain and grow the Soul Garden.
Diabetes and Depression
As someone who has lived with type 1 diabetes for over 31 years now I can tell you that depression peaks its ugly head in every once and awhile. I have gone through a couple episodes of deep depression. It got so bad about 12 years ago that I decided to take antidepressants to get out of it. I got out. It took about 6 months. I stayed on the drugs for another year and then I got off of them. It took about 3 months to get off of them. You can’t just stop taking them. I firmly believe that, if at all possible, one should not be on antidepressants. If you need them then take them. When you get out of the rut then find a way to get off of them. I know this runs counter to the thinking of many medical professionals. I don’t care. I don’t have much faith or trust in what doctors have to say unless it is an emergency. My Endocronoligist is there to write my prescriptions, order my blood tests and to collect $50 from me every 4 months…that is it. Living with diabetes effectively means that you take responsibility for what is going on. Don’t give any of that responsibility to the docs. They will want some of it as most of them have major ego issues and think they are better then most others. But don’t give it to them. Don’t do it.
Mood swings are just part of the baggage that goes along with dealing with the disease. It is an insidious disease. There is no let up. It is 24/7 unless of course you choose to block it out. Therefore, it is understandable when you feel down, There are physiological reasons that you get down as well. I don’t feel good about things when my blood sugar has been high and I don’t feel good when I am rebounding from a low. The best prescription to ward off depression is to workout. It is all about the work out actually. Become an athlete. Walk hard, run hard, do yoga everyday. Attack the workout. Good Luck..
The Game
Is life a game? Does it trivialize life to to compare it to a game? Is life too serious to be considered a game? Gee whiz, we certainly put a lot of money, time and resources into the games we play. Every game has a primary objective. It could be argued that winning the game is the ultimate objective. Others say it is really how you play that matters. And some of the best coaches I know have used the word Love in describing the most important aspect of playing; “Play for the love of the game.” Gaining Agreement on what is the primary objective is important, I believe. Most games are straightforward and don’t have much ambiguity in figuring out the objective. Is Life a game? What game are you playing? What is your objective? Are there any rules? What is your strategy? How do you train and get better? How do you measure your results?
Organized Religion
Religion is man made. It is obvious. Most religions refer to scriptures for validating their postions. “It is written.” Historical interpretation of scripture reveals that most of it was written many years after events or prophesies were made. But what is it that organized religion provides? Anyone who steps back and looks objectively at the circumstance one finds oneself in most certainly must first enter into some kind of existential crisis. Life is so tenuous and so short. We are consumed with needs and desires….Religion offers the believer an escape from this crisis. All one needs is faith. Faith in what others have decided as the purpose of one’s life, how one should live, where we came from and where we go when we die. Many of us have decided that all religion is a bunch of crap. Not a bad place to start. But I don’t think it is a good place to stay.
The reality is that religion has played a major role in human evolution and it does not look like it is going to end soon. Believers tell you that there is a commitment of faith that must be made in order to fully appreciate and experience their Truth. Make this commitment first and you will then understand. Well, there are a lot of us that are not willing or incapable of taking this leap. So why am I writing about this? I don’t know really…Maybe it is because I am confused. I have wanted to make a spiritual commitment and have checked out a lot of different religions. All of them tell me that there is a God. All of them tell me that I must restrict certain activities and desires. All of them tell me I should attend their weekly and sometimes daily services. All of them tell me there is an afterlife of some kind. All of them tell me that in order to ensure I get to participate in that afterlife I must do what they tell me to do. And all of them tell me I should at least think about giving them a minimum of 10% of my income. Much of what they say rings true to me but Some of it doesn’t. Most of them tell me that Doubt is the enemy so my apprehensions are normal. After a lifetime of searching and experimenting I have decided that one thing is for sure. No matter what any of them say I will not look outside of myself for the Truth. The Truth lies within. This does not mean that you should not study what others have said and what others say. But after studying and searching and testing things out I will always go within to decide. There are many ways to do it. I recommend checking out yoga and meditation. Why? Because, for better or worse, you are with your body and mind this go around. Yoga and meditation are techniques that assist you in being with your body and mind in a productive way.
I think some people should turn to religion if that is what they are called to do. I see any organized religion as a weigh station…a kind of spritual rehab for those who are spiritually empty. Another way to look at it is that religion is like taking antidepressants. It will help you get out of a rut. But once you are out I think it is time to titrate off of it. I would not want to live a significant period of my life on antidepressants. I know some medical professionals think it is necessary for some to be on antidepressants for extended or permanant periods of time. Bullshit!!! You can’t stay in Rehab your whole life and you should not stay on mind alterating drugs your whole life either. Warning!!! Getting off Cold Turkey is sometimes dangerous. It can take up to 3 to 6 months to get off antidepressants and most rehabs suggest aftercare sessions for about 3 to 6 months. So, if you have never experienced religion and have not delved into spiritual matters then check out Christianity or Buddhism or Kabbalah or whatever. Then get out and go within. Explore ways to go within that are void of secular beliefs or dogma. Good Luck