I remember a few years after being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes that I wrote a letter to my family.
I was diagnosed in 1976 at the age of 14.
The letter was an attempt to describe what it was like to live with the condition. It is hard to describe because the trauma of the dis-ease is strong and multifaceted. In other words, it is not just physical. It affects the energy self, the mental, the emotional, the financial, the social……everything. I described how it felt like I was sent to the circus to perform the high wire act with no safety net. Everyday; 24/7 I was trying to balance on the thin wire of blood sugar control. It was an impossible task.
At the end of the letter, after describing what it was like, all I felt was sadness, hopelessness, victim consciousness, remorse, guilt, self-pity, resentment…should I go on? I ended the letter with a heartfelt and surrendering statement. All I could say was “I AM SORRY.” I could see how me being “sick” was affecting others and I felt like there was nothing I could do to “fix it.” My remorse was filled with embarrassment, shame and a sense of helplessness.
Read more: TeshuvahMy life, since age 14, has been mostly focused on survival, seeking pleasure and avoiding pain; The typical life of a “human being,” I guess? However, there has always been a kind of “pilot LIGHT” that has always been lit even if it was dim and dark. Call it hope or an inner knowing or a vision of healing back to wholeness or God.
This pilot light has led me to search for pathways out of the confinement which the dis-ease presents. This search transformed into Seeking The Truth and The Way. I still have the dis-ease but, today, now more than ever, I am certain I am seeking the right path and that I will, some-a-day experience a full re-cover-y….
And today, I came across this video. Many of you know, that one of the “maps of the territory” I utilize is the spiritual technology of Kabbalah. Remember, this has nothing to do with faith, belief or worship. It is a map; a representation. The territory is within each individual. Well, in this map we are currently in “The Days of Awe”;” The 10 days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (Monday 9/25 at sundown). This period of time is a window of opportunity to do Teshuvah (Repentance).
So, this video is not Kabbalah. It is an Hawaiian process. However, it mirrors the four steps of Teshuvah in Kabbalah. I have also embedded a short article about the Kabbalah 4 step process. I really like the way the guy in the video describes it.
It is said that God created Teshuvah before he created The Universe. Is Teshuvah the process of healing? And, if so, how do we embody this process?
Here is a link to a short article from The Kabbalah Center about Teshuvah