I got diagnosed with Type 1 at the age of 14 in 1976. Yep, I’m getting old but I still feel like that 14 year old in many ways. It was different back then. I was “flying blind.” No short acting insulin, no test strips, no A1C test…Took one injection of NPH in the morning and rode the peak. Mostly ate food by feel. How I survived that…I don’t know. For me, this “journey” has become spiritual in nature rather than physical. I really didn’t think I was going to make it past 40 years of age. I’m turning 57 at the end of the month. It’s bonus time from here on out.
Yet, I am trapped, or at least I feel trapped. in this physical body that often does not feel well and needs to be poked with injections, infusion sites, finger pricks and all the other stuff involved. The doctors told me, when I was diagnosed, that they were on to a cure and we should have one in 10 years at the most. It’s been 42 and a “cure” is just as far out today as it was then.
For me, there is a cause. There has to be. If not, this suffering would be for nothing. My education has taught me that there is a cause to everything. We may not be able to detect it but it’s there. There is a book published back in 1984 called “You Can Heal Your Life” written by Louise Hay. It’s a book that connects dis-eases with mental/emotional/spiritual causes. I remember, that one of the causes for diabetes was ……… “A Longing For Home.” This resonated with me. Prior to my diagnosis I had a few experiences of being desperately homesick when away to a hockey camp or a soccer camp. I remember, the sick feeling at the “pit” of my stomach. I was so nauseous I could not eat. I was so upset I peed my bed. Why, am I telling you this? Am I saying that I got diabetes because i got homesick as a kid? Nope. I don’t know why I got this curse of a disease. I’m over it.
Type 1 diabetes ejects “you” from the home of the physical body. It disrupts one of the many essential “perpetual motion systems” in the body. The destruction of the islet cells of the pancreas combined with a continued immune system response results in the death of the physical body. In a matter of weeks or days. That is not an opinion. That is a fact. Without injecting insulin “you” are out of here. Diablo has won. But, just under 100 years ago a few guys invented a way to get insulin into these people who were dying of ‘Diabetes”.
The story begins to change. It is truly a miracle. And over the years the treatment (way of getting insulin in and the way to test/check blood sugar levels) has improved. But we are no closer to understanding the cause or finding a cure than we were 100 years ago. At least on the physical plane. WHY? What is this diabetes? Why has it exploded into an epidemic in our society. What is the cause?
My life, since diagnosis, has been a combination of survival, seeking immediate gratification and finding the cause and cure for this dis-ease that, from one perspective ruined my life and negatively affected those around me. This dis-ease has caused much suffering for me. There must be a reason. There must be a cause. I knew that the day I was diagnosed and I know that now.
I’ve been on this for 42 years. Some would tell me to let go of this DESIRE Michael and live your life. You can live a normal life you just need to take your medicine and eat right. For me, that wasn’t the case.
Am I any closer to understanding why I got this? Maybe. I got my suspicions. My seeking for the cause and a cure has taken me to some interesting places and teachings.
Everyone, or almost everyone, has heard the cliche quote about this life……”We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience.” Well, if this is TRUE then why this physical experience of Type 1 Diabetes?