The past few weeks have been challenging for me.   I had a record low reading of 27 at 4 in the morning.  I have been as high as 300.  I have used the analogy of flying a plane in describing what it is like to have to manually balance blood sugars.  I have never actually flown a plane so the analogy is really based off of what I would imagine it to be.  When I was in my 20’s I wrote a 3 page paper entitled “Walking the High Wire.”  I was describing the balancing act I engage in as I attempt to keep my blood sugars in as normal a range as I can.  Normal is between 80 and 120.  I think the biggest myth about diabetes is the thought concept that it is similar to having high blood pressure.  The Myth is that diabetes means you have high blood sugar and that if you take your medicine then it will bring it down.  Not exactly.  I am not saying that the two diseases are not alike.  In fact, they are.  It is just, like with any other disease, the medicine is only one component of many that are involved.  Our society’s understanding of disease is such that the component of medicine is often given more significance in the process of healing then it should.  This is understandable given the recent past’s and present advances in medicine.  This understanding of the process has created in our society’s consciousness an attitude that I think is not the most effective thought context to have in engaging with the issue of disease today.  This attitude has served us well up to this point but is now creating a toxic situation in the area of main stream health care.  Everything that is born must die.  This includes ways of doing things and ways of thinking about things.  The role of Medicine must be redefined.  It must be given its new role where it will flourish.  The current role that Medicine is playing here and now has ripened and fallen off the tree.  This is not a bad thing.  It is a good thing and a natural thing.   When the plane starts to experience turbulence it is sometimes hard to get back in balance.  The whole thing is compounded by the emotional and physical effects of the highs and the lows.  I feel depressed and anxious with highs and lows and I tend to overreact.  I know this much from past experience……….When I am out of control something is up.   What I mean by this is that I am up against an issue that I am dealing with.  Initially it is usually unconscious;  below the surface so to speak.  I have a choice.  I can suppress it and not deal with it and it will either persist or retreat to come back sometime in the future.  My other choice is to work it out.  To bring it to the surface of consciousness and address it.  What is it this time?  I am not quite sure but I have some clues.  Writing these blogs has helped me to work some of these issues out and to, consequently, get back in control.  It is a balancing act.  And as with balancing on a high wire when one side becomes heavier or lighter than the other side a correction must be made.  As with flying a plane, if the plane gets to an undesirable altitude then the pilot must make the necessary adjustments.  We are always seeking balance.  Yoga has taught me to come back to the breath first.  Start with deep breathing, then become conscious and finally let go.  As Type 1 diabetics we are given the task of seeking balance.  This can be either a constant pain in the ass or an opportunity for learning.  And the learned eventually become the teachers and so it goes.

I believe that we are here, on this planet, as human beings, to transform ourselves.  Transform means to change in form, appearance, structure, character.  I think this thing called life is set up like a game.  I don’t mean to trivialize it by comparing it to a a game but, nevertheless, I see it as a game.  Every game has an objective.  Every game has rules.  There are strategies involved.  Having continual increasing knowledge about the game helps.  There are skills involved and many who participate in games practice to hone their skills.  There is a way to measure outcomes; to keep score.  I think that the objective in the game of life is to transform.  To change.  Specifically, I believe that, in all areas of life, it is a transformation from a desire to receive for the self alone to the the desire to receive for the sake of sharing with others.  This is a Kabbalistic (From Kabbalah) concept.  But there is a problem.  In order to be here, to experience and engage in life we must have certain needs fulfilled in certain time periods.  A lot of these needs are, most of the time, fulfilled automatically without us even being conscious of it.  When one of these needs fails to be fulfilled then we become conscious of it and it becomes a desire, often times a burning desire.  Most of these needs are physical in nature.  There are a lot that are not depending on the awareness level of the individual.  A few examples perhaps:  We need to breathe, often.  Our bodies are set up in a way that allows oxygen in either through the nose or the mouth.  We have a throat that acts as a tunnel for oxygen to travel to the lungs.  The lungs do their thing and oxygen is transferred into the blood cells and is carried through the veins and vessels to each individual cell and they stay alive and carry on with what they do.  In the absence of oxygen, a blockage in the nose, mouth, throat, a problem with the lungs or a disruption or block in the veins and vessels then this system that fulfills a critical need ceases to work and we quickly become conscious of it, if in fact we are able to stay conscious. Suddenly, this unconscious fulfilled need becomes a burning desire and we will not be very interested in transforming ourselves into a sharing being.  No, we will be pretty focused on getting air and will probably kill another if that would help at all to provide us with even a slight chance of fulfilling our desire to breathe.

Well, this whole Type 1 Diabetes thing can been seen in the same way.  Allow me to elaborate.  If you are a Type 1 Diabetic then one day in the past you learned that you “got” it.  Not a good day.  Not a day easily forgotten and not one that most of us like to revisit.  It was the day that you became conscious that a very critical need stopped being fulfilled; a need that parallels the importance of breathing, albeit with a 3 to 4 month time period prior to fatal malfunction as opposed to a 3 to perhaps, 10 minute time period to solve the breathing thing.  The process involved in Type 1 diabetes is very similar to the process of breathing.  Instead of oxygen being sent to the cells it is glucose. And instead of the lungs being the organ involved it is the pancreas.  Both glucose and oxygen are sent via the blood cells to all of the other cells.  Instead of breathing it involves eating.  And just like if you could not get oxygen to the cells the body will die so it is with not getting nourishment ( in the form of glucose ) to the cells.   An analysis of the situation yields four things to contemplate, in my opinion as someone who was diagnosed 31 years ago.  First, an understanding in the breakdown of the process that resulted in having to address this need.  Second, what is it that needs to get done in order to get the glucose to the cells in the most effective way.  Third, what is the desire that is associated with this situation.  And finally, for extra credit, how do I transform this desire from a desire to receive for the self alone to a desire to receive for the sake sharing with others? Continue reading A Transformational Approach to Type 1 Diabetes →